naked and laughing

Who doesn't love naked baby pictures? I haven't gotten one of her sucking on her big toe like it's a thumb -but I will.

This is one of Gray's (3) homemade sweaters. I love her 6 month clothes and wish that she would slow the weedy growth so that she could wear them longer -but I think I read somewhere that it's unhealthy for babies to quit growing.

And continuing in the "everybody's doing it" theme - here's picture of an apple pie nathan made for us. My contribution was cutting up the apples -sounds more impressive if you don't know that we have a peeler/slicer/corer. It's like magic.

Not really sure how to add just sound yet -but this might work.

file:///Users/orrisnj/Desktop/WS330038.WMA

maybe not. I think from my 3 second look at the help menu that adding audio is considered "podcasting" -and sounds tricky ("third party storage...links..etc.") I can add the sound file really easily to an email so maybe I'll send it out later. If any of you have done this in an easier way - please let me know.

a few things

1. How fun to look at are these pictures? Mary (who keeps Gray on Thursdays/goes to our church/ actually it would be hard to list all the ways we are connected, but suffice it to say that there are more than 2) took the last two pictures the week before I had Gray. I look tired but I think it's just end of pregnancy eye swelling :). I added the second one because I think it more accurately shows the rotundity of a full term belly. She's a professional photographer and sometimes entertains herself by taking pictures of Gray when the little pumpkin's not being unpicturesquely slobberful.

2. Everyone's posting recipes and I've been wanting to share this one because it's brought me such delight - Mary gave it to me. So tasty with hot black tea -and sugar & milk of course.

Healthy Scones

1/2 t salt

1 cup whole wheat pastry flour (or ww regular flour)

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 T baking power or 1t baking soda + 1t lemon juice

6 T Smart Balance butter or Brummel and Brown (1/3 cup = 5 1/3 T)

1 cup old fashioned oats

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 t vanilla

raisons

• Heat oven to 425 deg
• Mix flour, sugar, salt & baking powder.
• With a pastry cutter (or fork), mix in butter evenly until the size of small peas.
• Add cream and vanilla and stir with a fork.
• Stir in oats.
• Add as many raisons as desired.
• Put dough on counter (sprinkle counter with flour first) and flatten to 1/2" thick round. Sprinkle with coarse raw sugar (turbinado).
• Cut in 8 sections, bake 10 minutes @425 deg. Remove to rack to cool.

I usually make a double batch and freeze them -thaw in seconds just sitting on the counter so that you can eat them one at a time instead of rush through the whole batch. Even Nathan likes them and he pretty much turns his nose up to all things whole wheat. I would post a beautiful picture but it would be more trouble than it's worth. Just imagine a scone that's brownish and has raw sugar on top.

3. It would be difficult to underestimate how much I hate cleaning tile grout in the shower.

4. I had a difficult morning. All because I, heaven forbid, had an agenda. I wanted to go to bible study, which starts at 9:30 am. I needed to put the beef stew ingredients into the crock-pot before leaving. Being late doesn't even phase me currently, but it was taking so long to cut up what I needed to (next time I think we'll really test the so-called "ease of crock-pot cooking" and put it all in whole) it was getting to the point that I was going to miss it entirely. And Gray was totally ready for nap 1 (or 1.5 if you count from 5:45-8:15 as nap 1), rubbing her eyes, yawning, etc. So I thought to put her to sleep in the nursery at church and just use the monitor. Finally got to church, found a parking spot that was fairly close and almost down for the nap, when I found that the monitor was out of juice. Arg -I really hate carrying 12 power cords for her everywhere I go in case we might want to use one of the thousands of gadgets that are available. So I don't and then get miffed. I choose to be occasionally miffed instead of constantly overloaded with baby paraphernalia, but it was just another straw on my back this morning. Took her up to the room beside the bible study room -it's darkish and muffled, but I could hear the video, so I felt like I was still getting something out of it. Of course Gray wouldn't accept that as a napping environment (I wouldn't have either to be honest) and so she did what tired babies who can't get to sleep do -she cried. Then I joined her, no sobbing, just a bit of self pity tearing. Seriously -I have one puny baby -not twins, not multiple children of different ages vying for attention. I'm not new to this -a good 6+ months in now, can't claim post partum hormones. Why am I emotionally overwhelmed by a tired baby crying? I didn't dwell on it long - I went to the other room and asked one of the ladies if she would mind taking over for a minute. And of course she said yes, got Gray to sleep after about 15-20 minutes and I enjoyed the video (Tara Barthel Peacemaking btw -really good, makes you think but it's ridiculously practical).

Now -out of this, I understand that I'm a pansy. No wonder God gave us such a sweet baby -we couldn't handle a more challenging one. Actually I think you rise to the occasion, painfully perhaps, but we can almost always do so much more than we think we can. Second, I gave into the urge to let someone else take care of the issue for me really easily, but I don't think that's always a bad thing. Obviously it's good that I can't just call in someone else to take care of things whenever I don't feel like dealing with it because I'd never learn to do it. But, she told me afterward that it made her day. That there are so many things out of her control, but this was one thing (getting Gray to sleep, relieving me) that she could do. And then she got to hold a sleeping baby, which is actually pretty fun and soul satisfying.

5. I am amazed at how many brilliant gifts Gray has received - this is the latest. Lindsay, Nathan's sister made it for us and I love it. I think it's super cute, and I love that it's homemade and it's got Gray's initials on it so I know Lindsay's not just regifting:)

That's all for now I think. At some point I'll blather on about some things I've been thinking about blogs in general -but I'm pretty sure they aren't original thoughts. Still - I'm pretending that all thoughts stave off Alzeimers, exercise the brain etc. and I usually don't think things all the way through unless I make myself write it out.

really?

This post is very mom/baby centric so brothers and similarly un-interested parties - feel free to skip this one. Actually as I read back -this whole blog is a bit mom/baby centric. Yikes. I'll try to do better, think broader.

Gray has recently chosen to cry herself to sleep for naps the last few days. I say chosen, because we've made efforts to calm her but the only thing that works (for me - nathan has his own magical methods) is leaving the room and gritting my teeth for 5 minutes while she takes longer and longer pauses between tearful wails until finally passing out. This is emotionally draining and I don't like it. Let's go back to the cooing version - "thanks mama for making me all cozy so I can sleep. I sure am tired. yawn, snore."

We have to "graduate" from the mom's support group that we've been going to at the hospital up the street this week (6 months and younger only). On one hand, it's pretty obvious that we don't belong with all those babies, but on the other hand -we don't need support anymore? I like support, even if I'm not as emotionally unstable as those first few months. So there are some moms who are starting a baby playgroup. As far as I can tell, this is a mom's playgroup more than a baby playgroup. Playgroups and playdates are all the rage now, but I'm kind of scared of them. My socializing skills look best under a dim light, like a support group where you mostly sit and listen, rather than a face to face, entertain one another type setting. How much more "stretching" will this mothering thing require! I'm guessing a lot.

Picture post attempt #1.

And btw - I'm working 2 days a week, plus a bit here and there when needed and available. We have Nathan moving his time around at work to accommodate staying home with her on fridays ( I'm very excited about this) and a very helpful friend keeping her on Thursdays. Thursdays are a very cultural experience - they have dogs and she teaches piano. I think it's really healthy for Gray to hang out with someone other than just me. I'm sure I'm a blast, but 7 days a week? And for my part, it keeps me from thinking the grass is greener on either side of the fence. Getting to exercise my architectural brain a bit feels really good. Hanging out with Gray, "slurping" on her a bit as my mom says, also feels good -for me and for her. And I can sometimes get a bit done so that the weekend isn't such a chore-fest. It's close to sustainable, but not quite. We'll cross that reality bridge when we get to the bottom of our baby savings. This is what we saved for, so it would be dumb to mess up this fun time by hoarding the money just to have a reassuring number on the bank statement. I write that so easily, but a bit of grandaddy in my mental genes holds me back from feeling completely assured when I note the ever-present red in each month's accounting. All this stretching - I should be more limber by now.

Fall is pretty much here, rain hasn't quite started yet, but it's cold at night and in the morning. And the lawn decoration enthusiasts down the street have already transitioned from their "back-to-school" theme to "autumn leaf festival". Oh, and we've all had/have colds (thanks nathan and your germy office, we love you anyway).

steady

Yesterday I had a moment of absolute peace and contentment - kitchen sink and bathroom were clean, the stack of papers by the computer was down almost to nothing, I was clean, baby was asleep, sun was shining, etc. Today, I woke up sleepy, Gray cried for 30 minutes trying to fight a nap, I tried to take a nap myself but was thwarted by the trash trucks - multiple rounds of them because we have the regular plus the recycling, and we're out of bread so I couldn't have a sandwich for lunch. Woe is me. More honestly, whiny is me.

I've made some tea -abandoned the idea of painting the drawers their final coat and sat down to write to get a little of the ongoing dialog out of my head. Yesterday it was rhapsodical poetry, today it's a rant. Regardless, it's taking up valuable brain space.

This is truly the summer of weddings in our world - 4 down, 2 to go. 3 here, 3 in the south. Lots of super tasty food, teary ceremonies and traveling. Of course in my head I've compared them all and each has it's best parts. We were merely visitors to one, visitors from afar to another, in the wedding party for yet another. I have this tiny thing to say about weddings in general - today we put so much effort and thought into the wedding day. What to wear, who will come, what will we serve and where and when and invitations and flowers and photographs so we don't forget it. We hear all the time from our parents about how much more simple their wedding receptions were - dinner mints, nuts and cake. On one hand I want us to calm down and not make such a big deal because it stresses everyone out. But on the other hand - marriage for life is a big promise. And it's worth gathering all your friends and family to be with you to witness the promise ceremony. And if you're going to get everyone to make effort to come together, surely it makes sense that the event be entertaining and comfortable and tasty - appropriate to the big, life-changing occasion it celebrates.

interjection - Gray just half woke-up, i ignored her, and she's quiet again. Score! Point in my column. She will probably stay asleep until i need to use the restroom because our crazy cheap toilet takes 7 minutes to refill and is crazy loud.

Other - I worked 2 full days last week and it wasn't awful. Parts of it were great - getting out of the house, reactivating that side of my brain. Still got it, if i do say so myself:)

interjection - Gray's up. point, match. to be continued probably three weeks from now.

a month long letter

June 10 2009

9 weeks old yesterday -the transition. we went to the doctor yesterday for the two month check up - 73 & 74 percentile height and weight (23” and 11.75 lb.), 3 shots for immunizations -which was awful. She was a bit fussy already from the poking and prodding, but the scream when the first shot went in was the worst sound i’ve heard in a long time. We came home and took a two hour nap which turned out to be plenty of time for the soreness to set in. Definitely felt like a bad parent -I had even been told to have tylenol handy, but hadn’t made it to the store yet (like so many other little things that just don’t get done in a timely manner nowadays). So I left my baby in pain (so much in pain that she wouldn’t eat after 4 hours when she usually eats every 2) with a friend while i went to the store....

June 22

And 11 weeks tomorrow - never finished the last note so i’ll just start another:) Gray and I are traveling to AL tomorrow and I oddly find myself with a free moment to write b/c she’s on hour 2.25 of an afternoon nap, during which i’ve done just about everything that was on my immediate list to do - minus the actual packing. Oh my goodness it’s nice and tiring to be able to get things done again. Supposedly she’s sleeping less by the numbers now than those first few weeks but it’s hard to believe. 4-8 hours at night (not all that consistent yet) and a couple 1-2 hour naps during the day and smiley while she’s awake. I feel like I need to hurry and post this update before we have a regression. 7 pm is the witching hour though, when we go outside to the front porch b/c it calms her almost immediately - hold her on her stomach so that her face turns red and her hands are purple and she’s quiet if not necessarily cheerful. Try to come inside and eat together -nothing doing.

This is miles above the first two months when she needed someone to be around (holding her if possible) to go to sleep and they were all short naps and so i was either calming her, feeding her, or changing her. Just sitting on the couch looking around the room at everything that needed to be done and not able to do any of it. Now I spend the first 30 minutes of her naps taking care of required functions like eating, brushing teeth, showering, etc. And have the next hour or so to make progress on the pile of papers to take care of (order health insurance, take care of continuing education), laundry, dishwasher, water the yard - the list is truly endless.

Nathan’s parents came a couple of weeks ago and were very helpful (I note that I haven’t written since my parents came for week 4 and were great as well). I think for both groups she was deemed acceptable. I love hearing how Nathan and I were as babies - they were only vague stories before but I find that now that I have a frame of reference with Gray - it’s so much more interesting. I’m also fascinated with baby pictures -ours as well as anyone I know. Maybe it’s something about trying to see what’s coming?

We played our first game of outdoor soccer yesterday and the skills I never had still aren’t there. They didn’t miraculously develop while I was on maternity leave. Nathan is still very fun to watch (although more fun to watch when he plays with his other more skilled team - a lot of the players on our team are awesome, but there’s a few of us newbies the hold the team back). Crazy sore back and legs today.

Not sure when I'm going back to work yet - since there’s still no work to be done in the architecture field, my office is in no hurry to have me back. I could force myself on them a couple of days a week but then we’d have to figure out childcare and that makes me very nervous. It’ll have to be done sooner or later because I know our current employment situation is not sustainable budget-wise - I’ll think about it after our trip home:) How’s that for a mature attitude? I was wondering prior to having Gray if parenting would at long last be the maturing catalyst - make us feel more like adults. Jury is still out I think. I do still annoy nathan as a form of entertainment, and I’ve started to work Gray and her bodily functions into the effort - but less often I think. Only after we all reach a moment of stasis, she’s just been fed, or put to bed or when we’ve just gotten a project done. Annoying others is a playtime activity and we just have less time to play over all.

So all that to say - I think we’re doing ok for the moment - Gray is still a mystery and unpredictable so it could change any time -but I’m a big fan of savoring the upswing.

New pictures all the time (maybe once every few weeks is more accurate) at

http://picasaweb.google.com/njorrison

Love

Jody

PS -She definitely has the old man baldness - and the animal noises are gone.

July 2

And today I’ve found time to type this up -maybe even send it out:) Thoroughly enjoyed going home for Laura’s wedding. Remembered how ridiculously hot it is in the south -why in the world do people get married in the summer there? School schedules -bah. Siblings met Gray and were crazy impressed - may be an exaggeration, but you can’t really tell with some of them, especially the male ones. Flying by yourself and gate checking the carseat is difficult - I called myself wonderwoman while i walked through the Houston airport with Gray and her paraphernalia and sweated b/c there is no air conditioner manufactured that could cool the enormous glass enclosed spaces in Houston in late june. traveling back with Nathan was better but traveling during the witching hour is ill-advised. The people sitting around us learned their lesson:)

and then there were 3...

Announcing the birth of Gray Lila Orrison,

Tuesday April 7^th at 6:44 a.m. [ obviously not a very prompt announcement J ]

7 lbs 4 oz

19.5” long

Head reasonably sized and fairly round, long hands and feet (assigning credit to Nathan on that one), crooked nose and bright eyes – the crazy eye look is especially entertaining. Supposedly she can’t see more than 8” away so those light and shadow blotches must be a bit alarming, gauging by her apparent surprise.

It occurs to me that many of you have no interest in the process portion of this story, feel free to skip to the next asterisk – I was very anti-“birth info” myself because I didn’t want to think about the impending doom.

Monday of last week the sun was shining and Nathan and I were glad for the excuse of water breaking ( 1:00 a.m. ) to get to stay home. It was so nice outside – sunny and 57° so we gardened (sprinkled 10 different kinds of seeds, hoping one or two will take and fill the bare patches in the front yard), went on a walk, took a nap, cooked lunch, watched the NCAA final, took showers, packed – and then went to the hospital about 10 p.m., extending the 18 hour safety window (risk of infection after your water breaks) only slightly.

It was a surreal day. Comparable to the day of our wedding, where there’s a lot of fun things to be done, it’s a special sort of day, better than Christmas or your birthday because it’s a life-changing day and you know that tomorrow your life will be different, irreversibly different. Lots of preparation to get to this point and you can’t stave off the inevitable. Hold your breath and hope you haven’t made a mistake. So, when we went in I thought the vague aches every 10 minutes or so were contractions, but certainly nothing to qualify as “labor”. I was 3 cm dilated and they gave us the option of inducing now or in the morning. I chose the morning because I had heard not great things about pitocin (and in the back of my mind was the thought that I might get to sleep if labor didn’t start). No such luck on the sleeping- lots of good luck with the labor. Nathan stayed up with me for all but about 45 minutes when he was nodding off during a game of itouch solitaire. We listened to Agatha Christie and were totally lost on the story line, I pulled out some crochet work and had to pull it all out the next day when I noticed there were quite a few missed stitches. But the time passed eventually and at 5:30 ish the nurse checked for the second time and I was fully dilated. She called the doctor and made me get on the bed, which just about did me in. The fetal monitor kept picking up my 78bpm heart rate instead of the baby’s 120+ bpm, and it freaked them out so she would push on the monitor during contractions to make sure there wasn’t any “decels”. Contractions aren’t fun to begin with, much less flat on your back (they told us in birth class that it might be nice for the support person to knead on your back to counter the pressure, but every time Nathan touched my back it intensified the hurt, plus the mean nurse lady pushing on me from the front). I think everyone experiences contractions differently but for me –it felt like someone taking a fistful of my bladder and twisting. Luckily Josh, our doctor, came in with his cape flowing behind him after about 5 contractions this way. He suggested we were fine without an accurate monitor for the heartbeat for this last bit and I could start pushing. An hour later they put a warm cheesy baby on my stomach and I’m still a little teary thinking about it. Seeing and feeling a little person that you’ve hung out with for quite a while, but just know through kicks and hiccups. She was curiously heavy outside versus in. And then the globe-trotter of baby nurses swooshed her over to a table for weighing, measuring and cleaning. Nathan watched in amazement and I was made aware that there was still a bit of work to do which I was not up for. I was tired of pushing, tired of hurting - there was a hair of happy contentment left, but it wasn’t enough.

* About 5 hours later we were left alone enough to nap. Gray had been alert for an hour or two but slept through the next 24 hours pretty soundly. After that first baby-on-my-stomach moment, we felt oddly detached from her, like we were hanging out with someone else’s baby. Again, I’m told it’s different for everyone, but it’s taken quite a few days of taking care of her to feel more protective, more connection.

Day 01 [ tuesday ] – birth and nap and visitors after 4 pm. Slept that night, waking up only when they brought Gray back in after weighing her (down to 6 lbs 14 oz) – shows how great my mothering instincts are that I didn’t notice my firstborn being taken from the room, or returning.

Day 02 [ wednesday ] – pretty bored at the hospital, went home that night. Gray apparently likes to eat every 2 hours at night. We’re slowly working that number up, or at least trying to.

Day 03 [ thursday ] – took a proper shower, that’s all I remember.

Day 04 [ friday ] – milk came in, missed taking a nap and regretted it that night.

Day 05 [ saturday ] – Was a low day, an hour of crying because of a feeding miscommunication (I thought that 40 minutes was plenty and she disagreed).

Day 06 [ sunday ] – I cried because some fruit spilled on the floor.

Day 07 [ monday ] –Nathan developed a sore throat and felt crappy but Gray and I were on rhythm. Ramped up for a walk outside. When we tried a couple of days ago, she started crying inconsolably and we compromised with a tour of our back yard.

Day 08 [ tuesday ] – Nathan gets the dubious privilege of first diaper change each morning- always a productive time for Gray. Tuesday she loosed three bodily juices at once, one of which made record distance by clearing the changing table edge. We laughed really hard but apparently Gray’s not into potty humor because she ignored the humor of the situation, busy protesting the cold breeze on her naked bum.

We’ll let you know if anything interesting happens –doubtful because she’s a bit of a lump. Pictures posted at:

http://picasaweb.google.com/njorrison

I’d like to post some sound bites, although I think they might only be interesting to new parents and their moms.

Love,

Nathan, Jody & Gray

P.S. Interesting facts that I didn’t know before:

• I lost only half of what I gained over the last 9 months after birthing the baby, but it still feels good to be able to bend over without straining my knees. I’m surprised by how comfortable I feel in my closer-to-normal body after such a sudden change.
• Breast milk is 50% fat. The true whole milk.
• Correspondingly, Gray’s cheeks appear to be the fastest growing part of her bodyJ